2 x 5 ???

I had a hospital visit in Sunderland Hospital yesterday and i got to interview one of the patients there..the patient suffered mild stroke couple of weeks ago but he seemed fine. Interviewing the patient was a bit difficult though. Living here for almost 2 months, I am so used to the friendly and talkative folks around here. The locals here seems to be the 'I-don't-mind-sharing-anything-with-you' type.

Thus, I was expecting the patient (to be professional, lets call him Mr. X) to have jolly expression and eager to talk to us. Mr. X is not the type of person that shares things with you. He answered all the questions that with a simple sentence and didn't elaborate more (even to an open questions!!). In malay we called it as 'tanye sepatah, jawab sepatah'. Hurm..maybe he was having difficulty with his speech, I mean, he had a stroke! well of course that had somehow affected him in terms of talking and limits his activity. But I can't hide my dissapointment knowing that the other students were excited and were having fun interviewing their patient. Haih~ What can I do, I just can't hear any whispering from the lady luck...

Back at home, I was thinking about the patient's atitude and behavior. On reflection (Bradley will love this!!) I realised that his behavior is just the same as mine. Being an introvert person, hesitate to share anything about yourself because you thought it won't make any difference telling others what you feel,etc is one of my major characteristic. And my heart was yelling at myself, 'Ko cakap orang tu x friendly, senyap, bla bla bla, tapi ko same je!!'

And I hate having to face those kind of people. And the quiet and awkward situation. Meaning..I hate myself more for being one of those people. It is difficult for other peole to understand you and talk to you. It is as if there is a huge barrier between you and other people. And in the end, it makes you a loner. You will feel lonely and nobody cared about you.

Although the interview didn't go much as i expected, I learnt something new. Something that has a huge impact on me. I need to change. No more senyap2, shy2, too secretive, too cautios of what others were thinking of me, and be brave to express yourself. And like what Azwan used to tell me, 'SMILE' always..because it's going to make your face expression less 'scary'...haha..InsyaAllah these changes will bring the positive side of me and brighten up my life (I wish!!)