Thursday, May 19


When I'm getting tired of looking at myself exhausted
I want to give up all the dreams that i've kept hard
my legs drop down, losing their strength
someday, i hope this tears will stop running
someday...after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
eveeryday i hold out comforting myself ,"It'll be alright"
but somehow it makes me afraid little by little
though i tell myself to believe in me; i don't
now I don't know how much longer I can hold on
But wait, it'll come
although the night is long, the sun will come up
someday my painful heart will heal
I hope it helps me now
I hope God will help me

Friday, April 15

reminder to myself

i got this from iman's..

  • Allahu Mai = Allah besertaku

  • Allahu Syahidi = Allah menyaksikan ku

  • Allahu Nazirun Ilayya = Allah melihat akan daku

please bear this in mind 24/7!!!!

a tough questions

a friend asked me, " apa beza kluar makan ngan bf (as if dating) dgn kluar mkn ngan kawan lelaki (just to catch up on things) ?" is a tough question there...and honestly i dont know the real answer . but this is what i think...

  • what is your intention going out with him? why?

  • what do you feel when going out in that two different ocasion??

  • what does your heart say about that?

  • do you think it is right to do so?

  • what will you get from going out with him? any benefit from it? .

i think when you answer these questions yourself, then you can answer the top question yourself.

Monday, November 29

nothing make sense??

these past few weeks...most things doesnt make sense anymore...well at least thru my eyes...

for instance...heavy snow during november...

it is not even one week, but the snow are already at the level of my crazy that is??? enjoying it..wanna play with it till im getting sick of it...or get really sick (flu, fever, whatever)

im not sure whether i'll be able to have another winter in my life after this...i hope there is(lets pray hard for this part!!)

another thing that i think is crazy is the fact that im getting a new grandmother this january...yeah..a new grandmother

my sis told me that my grandfather is getting married....i know it sounds crazy

i almost cant believe it at first...but after a while...when i think about does make sense

my grandfather is cool...he can still drive..strong enough to walk and do the housechores....and he is a great cook too...

since i was born till now, he is the master chef when it comes to any kenduri at the kampung(well not kampung is a modern house in the city of bp)

yep..he cook the best nasi beriyani every eid every year(the best i've ever taste in my whole life...really!) and now i kinda missed it since i didnt go back last summer...

and grandfather does not have any illness at all!!

no diabetes, hypertension, osteoarthritis, not even nyanyuk!! and he smokes cigarette though~

the best part granddad still wears jeans and if im not mistaken, he owns a leather jacket!! cool is that??? his new wife are lucky to have him i suppose...

and there are few other things that doesnt make any sense at all but im too lazy to write more

though it seems crazy to is a simple task...He can do anything He want if thats His will...that is how powerful He is..thank you Allah for all this...alhamdulillah~

Friday, November 12


Some people are family,
they treated you like a family, and are very concern about your well-being though they are not even related to you

Some people are selfish,
they ignore you when they have everything, and pretend that you don't exist

Some people are sensitive,
they try to please you the best way they can, and make you feel welcomed

Some people are manipulative,
they manipulate people the way they want them to be and take the credits from other people's hard work. and they don't even care about the people they manipulate

Some people are like salespeople,
they come to you when they need something from you, and leave you behind afterwards

Some people are like chipsmore(kejap ade,kejap xde),
they say they'll be there for you, great with soothing words, but disappears when you really need them

Some people are like fungus
they make others feel bad as they spread their spores, sitting and laughing from their area

Some people are like glass
they are weak and fragile, easy to break, and once broken, they'll never recover

and some people are like binoculars
they can only see others from afar, and hopes for the best of other people, despite of what they really feel inside.

*ps: sorry mr TJ for not wishing your birthday...and yes, i'm still waiting for ur reply~

Monday, October 25

2 storey flat of 2 bedrooms

oh...sgt penat...
thinking of going home and get married ASAP with anyone that i met on my journey home...
huh~this is tough~~~~
what do u think mom,sis???

*then i can start searching for a real 2 storey flat, no, condominium would be better! of 2 bedrooms~~

Saturday, October 2


Bila sebut pasal pemimpin, kita slalu akan imagine orang yg dipercayai, dihormati, sesorg yg menjaga kebajikan anak2 buahnya and of course, adil(paling penting)
everybody nk seseorg dgn ciri2 di atas utk jd pemimpin diorg
sbb tu la tanggungjawab seorg pemimpin ni besar
even dlm qur'an pn sebut
antara 7 golongan yg mendpt perlindungan Allah ialah pemimpin yg adil

tapi..macam mane pulak dgn pemimpin yg xadil??
of course la pemimpin ni x dihormati apatah lg disayangi..
kadang2 rase nk cekik2, sepak2 je dgn pemimpin cmni(don't do this at home)
maybe boleh tegur and beri nasihat dlu
and klu xmakan saman jugak, baek gulingkan aje
drpd menyakitkan hati kedua2 belah pihak

yep, org mcm ni mmg wujud
ade dlm keliling komuniti kte
ape2 pn, kte kene deal dgn die
hopefully dgn penuh sabar, yet tegas
so that kta x ditindas
and at the same time,
menyedarkan org2 yg xsedar diri tu...

*i'm writing this post as i'm having trouble sleeping. since my brain is deprieved of oxygen, it became too lazy to think in english, thus creating a malay post