Someday

When I'm getting tired of looking at myself exhausted
I want to give up all the dreams that i've kept hard
my legs drop down, losing their strength
someday, i hope this tears will stop running
someday...after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
.
eveeryday i hold out comforting myself ,"It'll be alright"
but somehow it makes me afraid little by little
though i tell myself to believe in me; i don't
now I don't know how much longer I can hold on
.
But wait, it'll come
although the night is long, the sun will come up
someday my painful heart will heal
I hope it helps me now
I hope God will help me
Someday....someday........

reminder to myself

i got this from iman's..

• Allahu Mai = Allah besertaku


• Allahu Syahidi = Allah menyaksikan ku


• Allahu Nazirun Ilayya = Allah melihat akan daku

please bear this in mind 24/7!!!!

a tough questions

a friend asked me, " apa beza kluar makan ngan bf (as if dating) dgn kluar mkn ngan kawan lelaki (just to catch up on things) ?" hurm...it is a tough question there...and honestly i dont know the real answer . but this is what i think...

• what is your intention going out with him? why?


• what do you feel when going out in that two different ocasion??


• what does your heart say about that?


• do you think it is right to do so?


• what will you get from going out with him? any benefit from it? .

i think when you answer these questions yourself, then you can answer the top question yourself.

nothing make sense??

these past few weeks...most things doesnt make sense anymore...well at least thru my eyes...

for instance...heavy snow during november...

it is not even one week, but the snow are already at the level of my calf...how crazy that is???

nonetheless..im enjoying it..wanna play with it till im getting sick of it...or get really sick (flu, fever, whatever)

im not sure whether i'll be able to have another winter in my life after this...i hope there is(lets pray hard for this part!!)



another thing that i think is crazy is the fact that im getting a new grandmother this january...yeah..a new grandmother

my sis told me that my grandfather is getting married....i know it sounds crazy

i almost cant believe it at first...but after a while...when i think about it..it does make sense

my grandfather is cool...he can still drive..strong enough to walk and do the housechores....and he is a great cook too...

since i was born till now, he is the master chef when it comes to any kenduri at the kampung(well not kampung actually...it is a modern house in the city of bp)

yep..he cook the best nasi beriyani every eid every year(the best i've ever taste in my whole life...really!) and now i kinda missed it since i didnt go back last summer...

and yeah...my grandfather does not have any illness at all!!

no diabetes, hypertension, osteoarthritis, not even nyanyuk!! and he smokes cigarette though~

the best part is...my granddad still wears jeans and if im not mistaken, he owns a leather jacket!!

hahaha...how cool is that??? his new wife are lucky to have him i suppose...

and there are few other things that doesnt make any sense at all but im too lazy to write more

though it seems crazy to me...to Allah...it is a simple task...He can do anything He want if thats His will...that is how powerful He is..thank you Allah for all this...alhamdulillah~

People

Some people are family,
they treated you like a family, and are very concern about your well-being though they are not even related to you

Some people are selfish,
they ignore you when they have everything, and pretend that you don't exist

Some people are sensitive,
they try to please you the best way they can, and make you feel welcomed

Some people are manipulative,
they manipulate people the way they want them to be and take the credits from other people's hard work. and they don't even care about the people they manipulate

Some people are like salespeople,
they come to you when they need something from you, and leave you behind afterwards

Some people are like chipsmore(kejap ade,kejap xde),
they say they'll be there for you, great with soothing words, but disappears when you really need them

Some people are like fungus
they make others feel bad as they spread their spores, sitting and laughing from their area

Some people are like glass
they are weak and fragile, easy to break, and once broken, they'll never recover

and some people are like binoculars
they can only see others from afar, and hopes for the best of other people, despite of what they really feel inside.


*ps: sorry mr TJ for not wishing your birthday...and yes, i'm still waiting for ur reply~

2 storey flat of 2 bedrooms

oh...sgt penat...
thinking of going home and get married ASAP with anyone that i met on my journey home...
huh~this is tough~~~~
what do u think mom,sis???


*then i can start searching for a real 2 storey flat, no, condominium would be better! of 2 bedrooms~~

changes?

people change.
i change.
you change.
maybe now.
or later.
we just don't know when.
we do not ask for it, but the changes come.
it comes without any invitation.
without any warn.
no matter how hard we try
it can never be avoided.
so
if i change
for good.
then don't question me anything
but
if i change
in a bad way
please.please.please
correct me.
show me the right path.
i'm begging you.
because i know
that you know better

Too Busy For A Friend

A story to be shared. Thanx emosah!!

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

One day in an english class, Miss Siz asked her students to cut some A4 paper into 19 similar-sized pieces and write the name of their classmates on each paper.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

Miss Siz told her students to write the nicest thing about their classmates on the back of the paper and fold them up.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed the papers.

The students took their time and some even make jokes while writing. "I'm watching you", said a student while thinking of the nice thing to write on his paper. This had cracked a laughter in the class =). At the end of the class, the students handed in their papers to Miss Siz. Having few more minutes before the period ends, and with the request from the student themselves, Miss Siz picked few papers randomly and read the contents out loud. Somehow it brought smiles to the whole class.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a seperate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

In her own time, Miss Siz arranged all the pieces of paper according to the names and put them into envelopes with the particular students names on it.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and "I didn't know others liked me so much", were most of the comments.

On the next class, Miss Siz gave each student his or her envelopes. Before long, the entire class was smiling. Some even laugh. Everyone was happy and cheerful. The atmosphere in the class was very positive.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplish its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

The students never discussed about their papers in class again. Little did Miss Siz know that some of her students did discuss about the papers with their bestfriends. However, it doesn't matter to Miss Ika as long as everyone was happy.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

Several years later, all the students are now pursuing their studies in medicine in different geographical area, with million miles seperating them apart. And of course, nobody was killed so I'm not writing anything further.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a alst walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes". Then he said : "Mark talked about you a lot".

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something", his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that", Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said,"I still have my list. It is in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too", Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me all the times," Vicku said and without batting and eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists.

Yep. I still have my envelope in the drawer, together with my other 'harta karun'.

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we dont know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are speacial and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And one way to accomplish this is : forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful. But it's up to U to fwd this one.

Normally I hate forwards messages, but I can't resist this one.=)

MMMmmmmm.......

M is for the million things she gave me

O means only that she's growing old

T is for the tears she shed to save me

H is for her heart of purest gold

E is for her eyes, with love-light shining

R means right, and right she'll always be

Put them all together,

and they spell MOTHER

A word that means the world to me.Wishing all the mothers in the worldA blast and blessfull Mother's DayBeing a full time mother is the highest salaries job....since the payment is pure love.

Mildred B. Vermont

*Poem by Howard Johnson

cuz of you ibu, i 'might' go home this summer...

marah (part 2)

kenapa kite marah???
sbb manusia ade perasaan..and marah is one of the perasaan that we have. kita akan marah bile something yg x best or yg kite x suka happen and menyakitkan hati kite..

tu intro...seriously, da mls nk post kt blog ni..why??more readers, especially yg dikenali...so xbest la nk kasi you guys bace bnde mrapu2 or lagha...kene la tulis something yg berilmiah sket...or at least something yg ade moral value ke...and to write something like that, i have to think and think and think...

honestly, what's with the previous post??
hurm...ntahla...fikir2 blik..pelik gak cmne ley nek angin smpi cmtu skali...maybe disbbkan stress...stress blaja, stress environment, dan mcm2 lg stress kt sini....probs die kecik je..klu cite pn..mst kene gelak...cuz mmg x msuk akal n agak klaka klu fikir blik..tp dah namenye time tu tga stress, maka terhamburlah sume2 bnde yg ntah pape tu...since i'm a girl, probability utk ungkit-mengungkit tu amat la tinggi...setinggi mount Eyjafjallajoekull itu...

so...the moral of the story???
ntah la.. i didnt think much while writing this...tgok la..language pn cm rojak...but i think marah is something negative, something that can drains off ur energy.and klu x silap syaitan suke tgok anak adam ni marah2...cm cite habil dan qabil tu...yela..bile da marah, kite hilang pertimbangan diri... tend utk maki hamun, mengumpat, mencarut, pukul2, hempas2 barang and doing things yg mmbawa kpd keburukan n dosa..

x best la kn buat sume bnde ntah pape ni...bile marah da reda..cnfm mnyesal...rase diri sndiri cm bodoh je wat sume bnde tu...ape la...lg xbest bile musuh kite(syaitan la..) happy smacam je tgok kite tga marah...so, pasni,(refer dri sndiri) sila la cntrol urself...

one time~

enough with misery posts (yep...the last few were miserable). reading those again makes me puke 3 times, laugh, cry(dlm hati je), banging my head on the walls, laugh again, and hate myself even more...

ok, i'm getting crazy with this...stop!!!

no. i'm a human, not a crazy frog.

anyway, apologies to those involved....u know who u are...thanx to me, ur life now is more complicated..no, i'm not proud of my actions, though i may won some awards for being such a 'troublemaker'.(hey, i made life more dramatic and interesting ok??).without me, no conflicts will arise..huhu

"thank you friends, for not pulling my hair till it's bald...or kick me into leazes lake.."

those involved (again??), please accept my sincere apology...nver meant it to happen this way...promise u i wont disturb u again...in no time, i'll be invisible(borrowing harry potter's invisibility cloak)...

and thank you for everything..yes..i mean for everything...i know i cant repay it..(unless i'm super duper rich and u accept money as payment)

haih~life is hard...wish it was simple..and i can live it in a lavish style...

wanna be like this, minus the bottle..(bottle coke xpe..although i dont drink coke =p)

no matter sweet a fantasy is, the truth is always ugly..erkk...

oh...last two weeks a friend told me that i am a silent left-handed...meaning i was born to be left-handed but somehow my parents successfully force me to be right handed...

this is the way to figure out whether u are a lefty or not..

this is somehow true coz i remember my mm told me that when i was little(less than 3years old), i use my left hands to grab anything..and they manage to teach me to use and write with my right hands..yay!! ..hooray to them..i know there's nothing stopping my parents from growing up their children the way they wanted them to be..especially mum..hohoho...see, now im in overseas, studying medicine. 4 years back i'd never imagine myself as a doctor...(sissy, dont tell mom about this part ok??)

haha...what i'm trying to say is...we human can change our environment..and make the best out of it...

we made our own destiny

so, dont look back. nothing u can do if u looked back (and time machines never exists!!)..lets face ahead, creating the best for the future...yay!!

ps: currently i'm banned from the kitchen...what should i do??

pathetic

yep..i've been feeling so pathetic since few days ago...

why??

because i'd found out that my causin had bertunang(what is this word in english??) last 2 weeks through facebook. through pictures can u believe it!!
no, i wasnt being tagged in those flashy pictures. just happened to click on those pics with some familiar names on the description.(imagine what if i didnt click on them...urg..)

so, can i just say i dont care and i dont give a damn??

NO.
whatever it is, they are still part of my family.

parachute

life is like a long bridge
a wooden bridge...
made of planks
some are strong, steady and can bear heavy things
but some arent that strong, and even make some squeky noises
living a life is like crossing the bridge
sometimes u feel confident
sometimes u feel a lil bit shaky(ok, maybe sometimes a LOT!!)

over the time, the bridge will not be as strong as it used to be..
as the malay proverbs say, 'dimamah usia'
any of those planks can be friable
u might step onto one of those, and puff...fall...

if u accidentally step onto one of those,
but lucky enough not to fall down,
never, ever repeat the same mistake u did
otherwise u'll feel very stupid (yep..it is stupid)
(not to mention u might fall this time)
and u wish u'd never to that
wish u can turn back the time
and sometime, u'd wish u had fall the last time
so u dont have to bear the pain this time..

so ,the moral of the story is...
u decide it urself..

slap me

duh~
can someone slap me in the face right now??
10 times
real hard!!

so that i can wake up from this fantasy land??

someone??? please?????????

farewell

goodbye mr bob
goodbye vee
may both of u rest in peace.
i know i'd always bullied u guys before tho~
but
do pray 4 me here k...

breathe

on our way to the bus stop:

"Are muslims majority in Malaysia?"
"Yeah, but we do have some other religion like christians and others since Malaysia consists of multiracial community"
"Does muslims practice xbsbfcdjsnsd??"
"Sorry??"
"dsfnjdnfjd"
"erm..sorry??what was that??"(siyesly xpaham die ckp ape)
"dnbdjssdbfds. Sorry,but maybe its different religion"
"yeah. maybe"(still couldnt get what he was saying just now)
"there's one religion that ndjfnsjdsj(again, fail to catch his words) and they didnt eat beef"
"oh, that's hindu"
"yeah.i was trying to remember what the religion was. Hindus are Indians, arent they?"
"yep"
"yeah, yeah..that's what i thought."

*Silence*

"the muslims have Quran, am i rite?? "
"sorry??"(listening isnt as easy as reading ok..and his accent didnt help either)
"muslims have Quran?"
*ttbe teringat post farid wajdi yg bace smalam*
"owh.yeah.u r rite."
"and they have someone like Jesus, or something"
"urm.."(couldnt catch what the question was)
"like Prophet Muhammad??"
"yeah.Prophet Muhammad is the messanger of God"

*another silence*

and again teringat kt post farid yg state that his partner learned about different religions in school. also teringat aritu ade a bunch of school kids visiting the uni mosque and learned a bit about our religion.

"did u learn about all this religion in school??"
"most schools teach the students about some religions. but i was unfortunate because my school didnt do that." he mentioned again something about rugi die xdpt blaja and pendedahan psal religion stuff, but i cant remember the exact word he used.
"oh...so how did you find out about Quran, Muhammad and all those stuff??"
"well, mostly thru tv, and i chatted with some people"

wow.impressive. imagine u can remember all that(about others religion) just by ur environment network, not learning. impressed with his determination to learn, and know about other religion aside from his religion only.

there was like thousands of questions in my mind that i wanted to fire him with, but the lactic acid that accumulated in my both legs are spreading to the upper part of body. and i've got hutang oxygen that kept on increasing.*sigh*
and he said something about missing the bus before i can catch my breath.huh~

why does he has to walk that fast??
*sigh*

another post with no title

muram 4,5 hari ni..gi lecture, tp cm xgi lecture..input=0, name pn da hilang, list yg 300 lebeyh tu pn da kurang satu, graf slalu bntuk n, bntuk u sgt susah nk jmpe, kdg2 rase down, tp kdg2 ok je..knape kah??
homesick kah? hormone probs kah??stresskah?? bosankah??ade masalahkah?? sakit jiwakah?? apakah???
entahla...diri sndiri pn xtau...

tp..pape pn..ni sume utk yg terbaik drp Yang Mengetahui..

keciwaaa...

cant help myself from feeling a bit..nope, A LOT dissappointment this week!!!
kecewa!!kecewa!!kecewa!!
durh~
*sigh*
need to improve myself
need to be strong
need to remind myself not to put high hopes on something
need to be organized
need to be nicer
need to stop complaining
and last but not least..
need to find the right path and dont astray

stop and relax!!!!

i've just realised that most previous posts are filled with lines and lines of words...

so this time lets take a look on some pictures or creation that i've seen with my own eyes...let the pictures sooth our eyes especially after reading lines and lines of facts in physiology text books.

(eleh min...mcm la ko bukak bku physio tu..lecture notes pn bace skali lalu je)

haha...whateva!!!

cliffs of moher..superb!!

limestones that were created since the ice age

a tree in bray~

castle at the tyne mouth

fireworks at saltwell park~

=)

winter holidays
dublin+bray+galway+claire+newcastle+glasgow
full with 'drama'
due to my lazyness,
im not gonna type all the drama that happen
cukupla sekadar dlm kepala
but
THANX a lot to my FRIENDS
for ur care
and for staying beside me
when i thought i could solve it myself
not to burden others
u guys helped me
and made it a lot more easier
and somehow it felt like family
THANX again
really terharu that night
huhu..(nk wat smiley tp x jmpe)
really appreciate it..
=)