Someday

When I'm getting tired of looking at myself exhausted
I want to give up all the dreams that i've kept hard
my legs drop down, losing their strength
someday, i hope this tears will stop running
someday...after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
.
eveeryday i hold out comforting myself ,"It'll be alright"
but somehow it makes me afraid little by little
though i tell myself to believe in me; i don't
now I don't know how much longer I can hold on
.
But wait, it'll come
although the night is long, the sun will come up
someday my painful heart will heal
I hope it helps me now
I hope God will help me
Someday....someday........

reminder to myself

i got this from iman's..

• Allahu Mai = Allah besertaku


• Allahu Syahidi = Allah menyaksikan ku


• Allahu Nazirun Ilayya = Allah melihat akan daku

please bear this in mind 24/7!!!!

a tough questions

a friend asked me, " apa beza kluar makan ngan bf (as if dating) dgn kluar mkn ngan kawan lelaki (just to catch up on things) ?" hurm...it is a tough question there...and honestly i dont know the real answer . but this is what i think...

• what is your intention going out with him? why?


• what do you feel when going out in that two different ocasion??


• what does your heart say about that?


• do you think it is right to do so?


• what will you get from going out with him? any benefit from it? .

i think when you answer these questions yourself, then you can answer the top question yourself.

nothing make sense??

these past few weeks...most things doesnt make sense anymore...well at least thru my eyes...

for instance...heavy snow during november...

it is not even one week, but the snow are already at the level of my calf...how crazy that is???

nonetheless..im enjoying it..wanna play with it till im getting sick of it...or get really sick (flu, fever, whatever)

im not sure whether i'll be able to have another winter in my life after this...i hope there is(lets pray hard for this part!!)



another thing that i think is crazy is the fact that im getting a new grandmother this january...yeah..a new grandmother

my sis told me that my grandfather is getting married....i know it sounds crazy

i almost cant believe it at first...but after a while...when i think about it..it does make sense

my grandfather is cool...he can still drive..strong enough to walk and do the housechores....and he is a great cook too...

since i was born till now, he is the master chef when it comes to any kenduri at the kampung(well not kampung actually...it is a modern house in the city of bp)

yep..he cook the best nasi beriyani every eid every year(the best i've ever taste in my whole life...really!) and now i kinda missed it since i didnt go back last summer...

and yeah...my grandfather does not have any illness at all!!

no diabetes, hypertension, osteoarthritis, not even nyanyuk!! and he smokes cigarette though~

the best part is...my granddad still wears jeans and if im not mistaken, he owns a leather jacket!!

hahaha...how cool is that??? his new wife are lucky to have him i suppose...

and there are few other things that doesnt make any sense at all but im too lazy to write more

though it seems crazy to me...to Allah...it is a simple task...He can do anything He want if thats His will...that is how powerful He is..thank you Allah for all this...alhamdulillah~

People

Some people are family,
they treated you like a family, and are very concern about your well-being though they are not even related to you

Some people are selfish,
they ignore you when they have everything, and pretend that you don't exist

Some people are sensitive,
they try to please you the best way they can, and make you feel welcomed

Some people are manipulative,
they manipulate people the way they want them to be and take the credits from other people's hard work. and they don't even care about the people they manipulate

Some people are like salespeople,
they come to you when they need something from you, and leave you behind afterwards

Some people are like chipsmore(kejap ade,kejap xde),
they say they'll be there for you, great with soothing words, but disappears when you really need them

Some people are like fungus
they make others feel bad as they spread their spores, sitting and laughing from their area

Some people are like glass
they are weak and fragile, easy to break, and once broken, they'll never recover

and some people are like binoculars
they can only see others from afar, and hopes for the best of other people, despite of what they really feel inside.


*ps: sorry mr TJ for not wishing your birthday...and yes, i'm still waiting for ur reply~

2 storey flat of 2 bedrooms

oh...sgt penat...
thinking of going home and get married ASAP with anyone that i met on my journey home...
huh~this is tough~~~~
what do u think mom,sis???


*then i can start searching for a real 2 storey flat, no, condominium would be better! of 2 bedrooms~~

Leader

Bila sebut pasal pemimpin, kita slalu akan imagine orang yg dipercayai, dihormati, sesorg yg menjaga kebajikan anak2 buahnya and of course, adil(paling penting)
everybody nk seseorg dgn ciri2 di atas utk jd pemimpin diorg
sbb tu la tanggungjawab seorg pemimpin ni besar
even dlm qur'an pn sebut
antara 7 golongan yg mendpt perlindungan Allah ialah pemimpin yg adil

tapi..macam mane pulak dgn pemimpin yg xadil??
of course la pemimpin ni x dihormati apatah lg disayangi..
kadang2 rase nk cekik2, sepak2 je dgn pemimpin cmni(don't do this at home)
maybe boleh tegur and beri nasihat dlu
and klu xmakan saman jugak, baek gulingkan aje
drpd menyakitkan hati kedua2 belah pihak

yep, org mcm ni mmg wujud
ade dlm keliling komuniti kte
ape2 pn, kte kene deal dgn die
hopefully dgn penuh sabar, yet tegas
so that kta x ditindas
and at the same time,
menyedarkan org2 yg xsedar diri tu...

*i'm writing this post as i'm having trouble sleeping. since my brain is deprieved of oxygen, it became too lazy to think in english, thus creating a malay post

changes?

people change.
i change.
you change.
maybe now.
or later.
we just don't know when.
we do not ask for it, but the changes come.
it comes without any invitation.
without any warn.
no matter how hard we try
it can never be avoided.
so
if i change
for good.
then don't question me anything
but
if i change
in a bad way
please.please.please
correct me.
show me the right path.
i'm begging you.
because i know
that you know better

Somewhere over the Rainbow

One of my fav songs that can definitely turn negative feelings to positive...

Hold strong on your dreams and let them bring you up sky-high...enjoy~~~

Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

There's a land that I dream of

Once in a lullaby

.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue

And the dreams thats you dare to dream

Really do come true

.

Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far

Behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drop

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Blue birds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh why can't I?

.

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, of why can't I?

.

What's wrong with falling down???

You can always stand UP again~

Too Busy For A Friend

A story to be shared. Thanx emosah!!

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

One day in an english class, Miss Siz asked her students to cut some A4 paper into 19 similar-sized pieces and write the name of their classmates on each paper.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

Miss Siz told her students to write the nicest thing about their classmates on the back of the paper and fold them up.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed the papers.

The students took their time and some even make jokes while writing. "I'm watching you", said a student while thinking of the nice thing to write on his paper. This had cracked a laughter in the class =). At the end of the class, the students handed in their papers to Miss Siz. Having few more minutes before the period ends, and with the request from the student themselves, Miss Siz picked few papers randomly and read the contents out loud. Somehow it brought smiles to the whole class.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a seperate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

In her own time, Miss Siz arranged all the pieces of paper according to the names and put them into envelopes with the particular students names on it.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and "I didn't know others liked me so much", were most of the comments.

On the next class, Miss Siz gave each student his or her envelopes. Before long, the entire class was smiling. Some even laugh. Everyone was happy and cheerful. The atmosphere in the class was very positive.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplish its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

The students never discussed about their papers in class again. Little did Miss Siz know that some of her students did discuss about the papers with their bestfriends. However, it doesn't matter to Miss Ika as long as everyone was happy.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

Several years later, all the students are now pursuing their studies in medicine in different geographical area, with million miles seperating them apart. And of course, nobody was killed so I'm not writing anything further.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a alst walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes". Then he said : "Mark talked about you a lot".

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something", his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that", Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said,"I still have my list. It is in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too", Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me all the times," Vicku said and without batting and eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists.

Yep. I still have my envelope in the drawer, together with my other 'harta karun'.

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we dont know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are speacial and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And one way to accomplish this is : forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful. But it's up to U to fwd this one.

Normally I hate forwards messages, but I can't resist this one.=)

.....................

what i need now is a total, inside out makeover!

honey bee

a bee in his colony, always helps around...doing this and that without being told to...and i want to be like one...it's like..what's the point of life it it's not making others' life easier?
in doing something, we need to be sincere(a reminder to myself)....never expect any rewards (aside from pahala) and never regret doing it...do something with your heart..this apply in my life, especially in my studies..i always doing it for the sake of other people..to please them, to satiesfy them, to make them happy...and sometimes..with my hard word (not really hard pun..really) i expect to get good grades and pass with flying colours....(oh...nmpak sgt blajar x ikhlas~) and sometimes i regret taking this path and kept thinking of the 'what if's...this habit is not very healthy and yes, i need to change

So..lets be a honey bee(you can also be a red ant if you want to...or any other animals that you can think of)

MMMmmmmm.......

M is for the million things she gave me

O means only that she's growing old

T is for the tears she shed to save me

H is for her heart of purest gold

E is for her eyes, with love-light shining

R means right, and right she'll always be

Put them all together,

and they spell MOTHER

A word that means the world to me.Wishing all the mothers in the worldA blast and blessfull Mother's DayBeing a full time mother is the highest salaries job....since the payment is pure love.

Mildred B. Vermont

*Poem by Howard Johnson

cuz of you ibu, i 'might' go home this summer...

marah (part 2)

kenapa kite marah???
sbb manusia ade perasaan..and marah is one of the perasaan that we have. kita akan marah bile something yg x best or yg kite x suka happen and menyakitkan hati kite..

tu intro...seriously, da mls nk post kt blog ni..why??more readers, especially yg dikenali...so xbest la nk kasi you guys bace bnde mrapu2 or lagha...kene la tulis something yg berilmiah sket...or at least something yg ade moral value ke...and to write something like that, i have to think and think and think...

honestly, what's with the previous post??
hurm...ntahla...fikir2 blik..pelik gak cmne ley nek angin smpi cmtu skali...maybe disbbkan stress...stress blaja, stress environment, dan mcm2 lg stress kt sini....probs die kecik je..klu cite pn..mst kene gelak...cuz mmg x msuk akal n agak klaka klu fikir blik..tp dah namenye time tu tga stress, maka terhamburlah sume2 bnde yg ntah pape tu...since i'm a girl, probability utk ungkit-mengungkit tu amat la tinggi...setinggi mount Eyjafjallajoekull itu...

so...the moral of the story???
ntah la.. i didnt think much while writing this...tgok la..language pn cm rojak...but i think marah is something negative, something that can drains off ur energy.and klu x silap syaitan suke tgok anak adam ni marah2...cm cite habil dan qabil tu...yela..bile da marah, kite hilang pertimbangan diri... tend utk maki hamun, mengumpat, mencarut, pukul2, hempas2 barang and doing things yg mmbawa kpd keburukan n dosa..

x best la kn buat sume bnde ntah pape ni...bile marah da reda..cnfm mnyesal...rase diri sndiri cm bodoh je wat sume bnde tu...ape la...lg xbest bile musuh kite(syaitan la..) happy smacam je tgok kite tga marah...so, pasni,(refer dri sndiri) sila la cntrol urself...

marah (part 1)

have u ever feel like this??marah yg mungkin lama dipendam and then puff!! terhambur keluar segala isi2 yg ade...i do..felt like u cant control the anger deep inside..and u went on shouting here and there...while at the same time u were shaking badly coz of the anger..OMG!! i'm so totally gonna regret doing that...but at that time, the anger had overpowered ur mind and u dont give a damn to anything else...

i felt so much connected to volcanoes in Eyjafjallajoekull(cant believe i can actually spell this)....hopefully nobody got stranded this time...

questions to think about...

i really dont get it...
can we judge something that we dont really know about???
can we say that cadbury is better than van houtten without really tasting both of them??
can we change people the way we wanted to??
can everybody think the same way that we did??
can we be nice to everybody without hurting ourselves??
can we follow other people although our hearts are against it??
can we do something we dont really like and succed in doing it??
can we be ignorant about something that has nothing to do with us??
can we.......

anybody has any answers for any of the questions above??

anybody??

one time~

enough with misery posts (yep...the last few were miserable). reading those again makes me puke 3 times, laugh, cry(dlm hati je), banging my head on the walls, laugh again, and hate myself even more...

ok, i'm getting crazy with this...stop!!!

no. i'm a human, not a crazy frog.

anyway, apologies to those involved....u know who u are...thanx to me, ur life now is more complicated..no, i'm not proud of my actions, though i may won some awards for being such a 'troublemaker'.(hey, i made life more dramatic and interesting ok??).without me, no conflicts will arise..huhu

"thank you friends, for not pulling my hair till it's bald...or kick me into leazes lake.."

those involved (again??), please accept my sincere apology...nver meant it to happen this way...promise u i wont disturb u again...in no time, i'll be invisible(borrowing harry potter's invisibility cloak)...

and thank you for everything..yes..i mean for everything...i know i cant repay it..(unless i'm super duper rich and u accept money as payment)

haih~life is hard...wish it was simple..and i can live it in a lavish style...

wanna be like this, minus the bottle..(bottle coke xpe..although i dont drink coke =p)

no matter sweet a fantasy is, the truth is always ugly..erkk...

oh...last two weeks a friend told me that i am a silent left-handed...meaning i was born to be left-handed but somehow my parents successfully force me to be right handed...

this is the way to figure out whether u are a lefty or not..

this is somehow true coz i remember my mm told me that when i was little(less than 3years old), i use my left hands to grab anything..and they manage to teach me to use and write with my right hands..yay!! ..hooray to them..i know there's nothing stopping my parents from growing up their children the way they wanted them to be..especially mum..hohoho...see, now im in overseas, studying medicine. 4 years back i'd never imagine myself as a doctor...(sissy, dont tell mom about this part ok??)

haha...what i'm trying to say is...we human can change our environment..and make the best out of it...

we made our own destiny

so, dont look back. nothing u can do if u looked back (and time machines never exists!!)..lets face ahead, creating the best for the future...yay!!

ps: currently i'm banned from the kitchen...what should i do??

pathetic

yep..i've been feeling so pathetic since few days ago...

why??

because i'd found out that my causin had bertunang(what is this word in english??) last 2 weeks through facebook. through pictures can u believe it!!
no, i wasnt being tagged in those flashy pictures. just happened to click on those pics with some familiar names on the description.(imagine what if i didnt click on them...urg..)

so, can i just say i dont care and i dont give a damn??

NO.
whatever it is, they are still part of my family.

parachute

life is like a long bridge
a wooden bridge...
made of planks
some are strong, steady and can bear heavy things
but some arent that strong, and even make some squeky noises
living a life is like crossing the bridge
sometimes u feel confident
sometimes u feel a lil bit shaky(ok, maybe sometimes a LOT!!)

over the time, the bridge will not be as strong as it used to be..
as the malay proverbs say, 'dimamah usia'
any of those planks can be friable
u might step onto one of those, and puff...fall...

if u accidentally step onto one of those,
but lucky enough not to fall down,
never, ever repeat the same mistake u did
otherwise u'll feel very stupid (yep..it is stupid)
(not to mention u might fall this time)
and u wish u'd never to that
wish u can turn back the time
and sometime, u'd wish u had fall the last time
so u dont have to bear the pain this time..

so ,the moral of the story is...
u decide it urself..

slap me

duh~
can someone slap me in the face right now??
10 times
real hard!!

so that i can wake up from this fantasy land??

someone??? please?????????