searching...and never stop

Someday

2011-05-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

When I'm getting tired of looking at myself exhausted
I want to give up all the dreams that i've kept hard
my legs drop down, losing their strength
someday, i hope this tears will stop running
someday...after this darkness clear up
I hope the warm sunshine dries these tears
.
eveeryday i hold out comforting myself ,"It'll be alright"
but somehow it makes me afraid little by little
though i tell myself to believe in me; i don't
now I don't know how much longer I can hold on
.
But wait, it'll come
although the night is long, the sun will come up
someday my painful heart will heal
I hope it helps me now
I hope God will help me
Someday....someday........

reminder to myself

2011-04-15T04:35:00.000-07:00

i got this from iman's..

Allahu Mai = Allah besertaku

Allahu Syahidi = Allah menyaksikan ku

Allahu Nazirun Ilayya = Allah melihat akan daku

please bear this in mind 24/7!!!!

a tough questions

2011-04-15T04:17:00.000-07:00

a friend asked me, " apa beza kluar makan ngan bf (as if dating) dgn kluar mkn ngan kawan lelaki (just to catch up on things) ?" hurm...it is a tough question there...and honestly i dont know the real answer . but this is what i think...

what is your intention going out with him? why?

what do you feel when going out in that two different ocasion??

what does your heart say about that?

do you think it is right to do so?

what will you get from going out with him? any benefit from it? .

i think when you answer these questions yourself, then you can answer the top question yourself.

nothing make sense??

2010-11-29T13:04:00.000-08:00

these past few weeks...most things doesnt make sense anymore...well at least thru my eyes...

for instance...heavy snow during november...

it is not even one week, but the snow are already at the level of my calf...how crazy that is???

nonetheless..im enjoying it..wanna play with it till im getting sick of it...or get really sick (flu, fever, whatever)

im not sure whether i'll be able to have another winter in my life after this...i hope there is(lets pray hard for this part!!)

another thing that i think is crazy is the fact that im getting a new grandmother this january...yeah..a new grandmother

my sis told me that my grandfather is getting married....i know it sounds crazy

i almost cant believe it at first...but after a while...when i think about it..it does make sense

my grandfather is cool...he can still drive..strong enough to walk and do the housechores....and he is a great cook too...

since i was born till now, he is the master chef when it comes to any kenduri at the kampung(well not kampung actually...it is a modern house in the city of bp)

yep..he cook the best nasi beriyani every eid every year(the best i've ever taste in my whole life...really!) and now i kinda missed it since i didnt go back last summer...

and yeah...my grandfather does not have any illness at all!!

no diabetes, hypertension, osteoarthritis, not even nyanyuk!! and he smokes cigarette though~

the best part is...my granddad still wears jeans and if im not mistaken, he owns a leather jacket!!

hahaha...how cool is that??? his new wife are lucky to have him i suppose...

and there are few other things that doesnt make any sense at all but im too lazy to write more

though it seems crazy to me...to Allah...it is a simple task...He can do anything He want if thats His will...that is how powerful He is..thank you Allah for all this...alhamdulillah~

People

2010-11-12T04:32:00.000-08:00

Some people are family,
they treated you like a family, and are very concern about your well-being though they are not even related to you

Some people are selfish,
they ignore you when they have everything, and pretend that you don't exist

Some people are sensitive,
they try to please you the best way they can, and make you feel welcomed

Some people are manipulative,
they manipulate people the way they want them to be and take the credits from other people's hard work. and they don't even care about the people they manipulate

Some people are like salespeople,
they come to you when they need something from you, and leave you behind afterwards

Some people are like chipsmore(kejap ade,kejap xde),
they say they'll be there for you, great with soothing words, but disappears when you really need them

Some people are like fungus
they make others feel bad as they spread their spores, sitting and laughing from their area

Some people are like glass
they are weak and fragile, easy to break, and once broken, they'll never recover

and some people are like binoculars
they can only see others from afar, and hopes for the best of other people, despite of what they really feel inside.

*ps: sorry mr TJ for not wishing your birthday...and yes, i'm still waiting for ur reply~

2 storey flat of 2 bedrooms

2010-10-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

oh...sgt penat...
thinking of going home and get married ASAP with anyone that i met on my journey home...
huh~this is tough~~~~
what do u think mom,sis???

*then i can start searching for a real 2 storey flat, no, condominium would be better! of 2 bedrooms~~

Leader

2010-10-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

Bila sebut pasal pemimpin, kita slalu akan imagine orang yg dipercayai, dihormati, sesorg yg menjaga kebajikan anak2 buahnya and of course, adil(paling penting)
everybody nk seseorg dgn ciri2 di atas utk jd pemimpin diorg
sbb tu la tanggungjawab seorg pemimpin ni besar
even dlm qur'an pn sebut
antara 7 golongan yg mendpt perlindungan Allah ialah pemimpin yg adil

tapi..macam mane pulak dgn pemimpin yg xadil??
of course la pemimpin ni x dihormati apatah lg disayangi..
kadang2 rase nk cekik2, sepak2 je dgn pemimpin cmni(don't do this at home)
maybe boleh tegur and beri nasihat dlu
and klu xmakan saman jugak, baek gulingkan aje
drpd menyakitkan hati kedua2 belah pihak

yep, org mcm ni mmg wujud
ade dlm keliling komuniti kte
ape2 pn, kte kene deal dgn die
hopefully dgn penuh sabar, yet tegas
so that kta x ditindas
and at the same time,
menyedarkan org2 yg xsedar diri tu...

*i'm writing this post as i'm having trouble sleeping. since my brain is deprieved of oxygen, it became too lazy to think in english, thus creating a malay post

changes?

2010-09-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

people change.
i change.
you change.
maybe now.
or later.
we just don't know when.
we do not ask for it, but the changes come.
it comes without any invitation.
without any warn.
no matter how hard we try
it can never be avoided.
so
if i change
for good.
then don't question me anything
but
if i change
in a bad way
please.please.please
correct me.
show me the right path.
i'm begging you.
because i know
that you know better

Somewhere over the Rainbow

2010-08-22T20:11:00.001-07:00

One of my fav songs that can definitely turn negative feelings to positive...

Hold strong on your dreams and let them bring you up sky-high...enjoy~~~

Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

There's a land that I dream of

Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue

And the dreams thats you dare to dream

Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far

Behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drop

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow

Blue birds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, of why can't I?

What's wrong with falling down???

You can always stand UP again~

Too Busy For A Friend

2010-08-19T05:09:00.000-07:00

A story to be shared. Thanx emosah!!

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

One day in an english class, Miss Siz asked her students to cut some A4 paper into 19 similar-sized pieces and write the name of their classmates on each paper.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

Miss Siz told her students to write the nicest thing about their classmates on the back of the paper and fold them up.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed the papers.

The students took their time and some even make jokes while writing. "I'm watching you", said a student while thinking of the nice thing to write on his paper. This had cracked a laughter in the class =). At the end of the class, the students handed in their papers to Miss Siz. Having few more minutes before the period ends, and with the request from the student themselves, Miss Siz picked few papers randomly and read the contents out loud. Somehow it brought smiles to the whole class.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a seperate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

In her own time, Miss Siz arranged all the pieces of paper according to the names and put them into envelopes with the particular students names on it.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and "I didn't know others liked me so much", were most of the comments.

On the next class, Miss Siz gave each student his or her envelopes. Before long, the entire class was smiling. Some even laugh. Everyone was happy and cheerful. The atmosphere in the class was very positive.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplish its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

The students never discussed about their papers in class again. Little did Miss Siz know that some of her students did discuss about the papers with their bestfriends. However, it doesn't matter to Miss Ika as long as everyone was happy.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

Several years later, all the students are now pursuing their studies in medicine in different geographical area, with million miles seperating them apart. And of course, nobody was killed so I'm not writing anything further.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a alst walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes". Then he said : "Mark talked about you a lot".

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something", his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that", Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said,"I still have my list. It is in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too", Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me all the times," Vicku said and without batting and eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists.

Yep. I still have my envelope in the drawer, together with my other 'harta karun'.

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we dont know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are speacial and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And one way to accomplish this is : forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful. But it's up to U to fwd this one.

Normally I hate forwards messages, but I can't resist this one.=)

.....................

2010-07-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

what i need now is a total, inside out makeover!

honey bee

2010-06-14T01:35:00.000-07:00

a bee in his colony, always helps around...doing this and that without being told to...and i want to be like one...it's like..what's the point of life it it's not making others' life easier?
in doing something, we need to be sincere(a reminder to myself)....never expect any rewards (aside from pahala) and never regret doing it...do something with your heart..this apply in my life, especially in my studies..i always doing it for the sake of other people..to please them, to satiesfy them, to make them happy...and sometimes..with my hard word (not really hard pun..really) i expect to get good grades and pass with flying colours....(oh...nmpak sgt blajar x ikhlas~) and sometimes i regret taking this path and kept thinking of the 'what if's...this habit is not very healthy and yes, i need to change

So..lets be a honey bee(you can also be a red ant if you want to...or any other animals that you can think of)

MMMmmmmm.......

2010-05-09T04:24:00.000-07:00

M is for the million things she gave me

O means only that she's growing old

T is for the tears she shed to save me

H is for her heart of purest gold

E is for her eyes, with love-light shining

R means right, and right she'll always be

Put them all together,

and they spell MOTHER

A word that means the world to me.Wishing all the mothers in the worldA blast and blessfull Mother's DayBeing a full time mother is the highest salaries job....since the payment is pure love.

Mildred B. Vermont

*Poem by Howard Johnson

cuz of you ibu, i 'might' go home this summer...

marah (part 2)

2010-05-05T18:21:00.001-07:00

kenapa kite marah???
sbb manusia ade perasaan..and marah is one of the perasaan that we have. kita akan marah bile something yg x best or yg kite x suka happen and menyakitkan hati kite..

tu intro...seriously, da mls nk post kt blog ni..why??more readers, especially yg dikenali...so xbest la nk kasi you guys bace bnde mrapu2 or lagha...kene la tulis something yg berilmiah sket...or at least something yg ade moral value ke...and to write something like that, i have to think and think and think...

honestly, what's with the previous post??
hurm...ntahla...fikir2 blik..pelik gak cmne ley nek angin smpi cmtu skali...maybe disbbkan stress...stress blaja, stress environment, dan mcm2 lg stress kt sini....probs die kecik je..klu cite pn..mst kene gelak...cuz mmg x msuk akal n agak klaka klu fikir blik..tp dah namenye time tu tga stress, maka terhamburlah sume2 bnde yg ntah pape tu...since i'm a girl, probability utk ungkit-mengungkit tu amat la tinggi...setinggi mount Eyjafjallajoekull itu...

so...the moral of the story???
ntah la.. i didnt think much while writing this...tgok la..language pn cm rojak...but i think marah is something negative, something that can drains off ur energy.and klu x silap syaitan suke tgok anak adam ni marah2...cm cite habil dan qabil tu...yela..bile da marah, kite hilang pertimbangan diri... tend utk maki hamun, mengumpat, mencarut, pukul2, hempas2 barang and doing things yg mmbawa kpd keburukan n dosa..

x best la kn buat sume bnde ntah pape ni...bile marah da reda..cnfm mnyesal...rase diri sndiri cm bodoh je wat sume bnde tu...ape la...lg xbest bile musuh kite(syaitan la..) happy smacam je tgok kite tga marah...so, pasni,(refer dri sndiri) sila la cntrol urself...

marah (part 1)

2010-05-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

have u ever feel like this??marah yg mungkin lama dipendam and then puff!! terhambur keluar segala isi2 yg ade...i do..felt like u cant control the anger deep inside..and u went on shouting here and there...while at the same time u were shaking badly coz of the anger..OMG!! i'm so totally gonna regret doing that...but at that time, the anger had overpowered ur mind and u dont give a damn to anything else...

i felt so much connected to volcanoes in Eyjafjallajoekull(cant believe i can actually spell this)....hopefully nobody got stranded this time...

questions to think about...

2010-04-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

i really dont get it...
can we judge something that we dont really know about???
can we say that cadbury is better than van houtten without really tasting both of them??
can we change people the way we wanted to??
can everybody think the same way that we did??
can we be nice to everybody without hurting ourselves??
can we follow other people although our hearts are against it??
can we do something we dont really like and succed in doing it??
can we be ignorant about something that has nothing to do with us??
can we.......

anybody has any answers for any of the questions above??

anybody??

one time~

2010-04-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

enough with misery posts (yep...the last few were miserable). reading those again makes me puke 3 times, laugh, cry(dlm hati je), banging my head on the walls, laugh again, and hate myself even more...

ok, i'm getting crazy with this...stop!!!

no. i'm a human, not a crazy frog.

anyway, apologies to those involved....u know who u are...thanx to me, ur life now is more complicated..no, i'm not proud of my actions, though i may won some awards for being such a 'troublemaker'.(hey, i made life more dramatic and interesting ok??).without me, no conflicts will arise..huhu

"thank you friends, for not pulling my hair till it's bald...or kick me into leazes lake.."

those involved (again??), please accept my sincere apology...nver meant it to happen this way...promise u i wont disturb u again...in no time, i'll be invisible(borrowing harry potter's invisibility cloak)...

and thank you for everything..yes..i mean for everything...i know i cant repay it..(unless i'm super duper rich and u accept money as payment)

haih~life is hard...wish it was simple..and i can live it in a lavish style...

wanna be like this, minus the bottle..(bottle coke xpe..although i dont drink coke =p)

no matter sweet a fantasy is, the truth is always ugly..erkk...

oh...last two weeks a friend told me that i am a silent left-handed...meaning i was born to be left-handed but somehow my parents successfully force me to be right handed...

this is the way to figure out whether u are a lefty or not..

this is somehow true coz i remember my mm told me that when i was little(less than 3years old), i use my left hands to grab anything..and they manage to teach me to use and write with my right hands..yay!! ..hooray to them..i know there's nothing stopping my parents from growing up their children the way they wanted them to be..especially mum..hohoho...see, now im in overseas, studying medicine. 4 years back i'd never imagine myself as a doctor...(sissy, dont tell mom about this part ok??)

haha...what i'm trying to say is...we human can change our environment..and make the best out of it...

we made our own destiny

so, dont look back. nothing u can do if u looked back (and time machines never exists!!)..lets face ahead, creating the best for the future...yay!!

ps: currently i'm banned from the kitchen...what should i do??

pathetic

2010-04-18T04:20:00.000-07:00

yep..i've been feeling so pathetic since few days ago...

why??

because i'd found out that my causin had bertunang(what is this word in english??) last 2 weeks through facebook. through pictures can u believe it!!
no, i wasnt being tagged in those flashy pictures. just happened to click on those pics with some familiar names on the description.(imagine what if i didnt click on them...urg..)

so, can i just say i dont care and i dont give a damn??

NO.
whatever it is, they are still part of my family.

parachute

2010-04-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

life is like a long bridge
a wooden bridge...
made of planks
some are strong, steady and can bear heavy things
but some arent that strong, and even make some squeky noises
living a life is like crossing the bridge
sometimes u feel confident
sometimes u feel a lil bit shaky(ok, maybe sometimes a LOT!!)

over the time, the bridge will not be as strong as it used to be..
as the malay proverbs say, 'dimamah usia'
any of those planks can be friable
u might step onto one of those, and puff...fall...

if u accidentally step onto one of those,
but lucky enough not to fall down,
never, ever repeat the same mistake u did
otherwise u'll feel very stupid (yep..it is stupid)
(not to mention u might fall this time)
and u wish u'd never to that
wish u can turn back the time
and sometime, u'd wish u had fall the last time
so u dont have to bear the pain this time..

so ,the moral of the story is...
u decide it urself..

slap me

2010-04-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

duh~
can someone slap me in the face right now??
10 times
real hard!!

so that i can wake up from this fantasy land??

someone??? please?????????

erk???

2010-03-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

let me warn u before u read this post..this post consist of nonsense piece of writing that's not worth ur time.. im too bored that i've decided to write this..unless u r bored and have nothing to do like me, please do continue...

i'm so lazy these days i even have planned to skip lectures..well that's before i imagine my mom's face...huhu...even tho i went to all lectures (excpt for one) i felt like my soul was never there..especially today's 3 lectures..idk why..hurmm...is it because "motivation" wasnt there??i wonder how am i gonna survive for a month???sometimes i wonder whether ............................(sorry cant publish this part in public)God please help me....

ps: felt like going to spain...who knows if i can find my "motivation" there??..anyone??LOL~

farewell

2010-03-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

goodbye mr bob
goodbye vee
may both of u rest in peace.
i know i'd always bullied u guys before tho~
but
do pray 4 me here k...

breathe

2010-03-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

on our way to the bus stop:

"Are muslims majority in Malaysia?"
"Yeah, but we do have some other religion like christians and others since Malaysia consists of multiracial community"
"Does muslims practice xbsbfcdjsnsd??"
"Sorry??"
"dsfnjdnfjd"
"erm..sorry??what was that??"(siyesly xpaham die ckp ape)
"dnbdjssdbfds. Sorry,but maybe its different religion"
"yeah. maybe"(still couldnt get what he was saying just now)
"there's one religion that ndjfnsjdsj(again, fail to catch his words) and they didnt eat beef"
"oh, that's hindu"
"yeah.i was trying to remember what the religion was. Hindus are Indians, arent they?"
"yep"
"yeah, yeah..that's what i thought."

*Silence*

"the muslims have Quran, am i rite?? "
"sorry??"(listening isnt as easy as reading ok..and his accent didnt help either)
"muslims have Quran?"
*ttbe teringat post farid wajdi yg bace smalam*
"owh.yeah.u r rite."
"and they have someone like Jesus, or something"
"urm.."(couldnt catch what the question was)
"like Prophet Muhammad??"
"yeah.Prophet Muhammad is the messanger of God"

*another silence*

and again teringat kt post farid yg state that his partner learned about different religions in school. also teringat aritu ade a bunch of school kids visiting the uni mosque and learned a bit about our religion.

"did u learn about all this religion in school??"
"most schools teach the students about some religions. but i was unfortunate because my school didnt do that." he mentioned again something about rugi die xdpt blaja and pendedahan psal religion stuff, but i cant remember the exact word he used.
"oh...so how did you find out about Quran, Muhammad and all those stuff??"
"well, mostly thru tv, and i chatted with some people"

wow.impressive. imagine u can remember all that(about others religion) just by ur environment network, not learning. impressed with his determination to learn, and know about other religion aside from his religion only.

there was like thousands of questions in my mind that i wanted to fire him with, but the lactic acid that accumulated in my both legs are spreading to the upper part of body. and i've got hutang oxygen that kept on increasing.*sigh*
and he said something about missing the bus before i can catch my breath.huh~

why does he has to walk that fast??
*sigh*

another post with no title

2010-02-25T03:05:00.000-08:00

muram 4,5 hari ni..gi lecture, tp cm xgi lecture..input=0, name pn da hilang, list yg 300 lebeyh tu pn da kurang satu, graf slalu bntuk n, bntuk u sgt susah nk jmpe, kdg2 rase down, tp kdg2 ok je..knape kah??
homesick kah? hormone probs kah??stresskah?? bosankah??ade masalahkah?? sakit jiwakah?? apakah???
entahla...diri sndiri pn xtau...

tp..pape pn..ni sume utk yg terbaik drp Yang Mengetahui..

keciwaaa...

2010-02-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

cant help myself from feeling a bit..nope, A LOT dissappointment this week!!!
kecewa!!kecewa!!kecewa!!
durh~
*sigh*
need to improve myself
need to be strong
need to remind myself not to put high hopes on something
need to be organized
need to be nicer
need to stop complaining
and last but not least..
need to find the right path and dont astray

A Post with No Title

2010-01-21T09:42:00.000-08:00

As I think of you,

I smile to myself

This can't be true

You treat me well

With your sweet charm

It's how I fell

You caused this

But no complaints

It's you I'd miss

You're one of the kind

The real thing

A wonderful find

stop and relax!!!!

2010-01-01T14:25:00.000-08:00

i've just realised that most previous posts are filled with lines and lines of words...

so this time lets take a look on some pictures or creation that i've seen with my own eyes...let the pictures sooth our eyes especially after reading lines and lines of facts in physiology text books.

(eleh min...mcm la ko bukak bku physio tu..lecture notes pn bace skali lalu je)

haha...whateva!!!

cliffs of moher..superb!!

limestones that were created since the ice age

a tree in bray~

castle at the tyne mouth

fireworks at saltwell park~

=)

2009-12-24T01:13:00.000-08:00

winter holidays
dublin+bray+galway+claire+newcastle+glasgow
full with 'drama'
due to my lazyness,
im not gonna type all the drama that happen
cukupla sekadar dlm kepala
but
THANX a lot to my FRIENDS
for ur care
and for staying beside me
when i thought i could solve it myself
not to burden others
u guys helped me
and made it a lot more easier
and somehow it felt like family
THANX again
really terharu that night
huhu..(nk wat smiley tp x jmpe)
really appreciate it..
=)

Denial

2009-12-09T08:45:00.000-08:00

finding myself doing unnecessary stuff (with the internet unsurprisingly) with an unfinished assignment lying around tho~..haih~
is this some sort of denial???i dont know either..been stressing out lately
and i cant figure out why...sigh~

these are the stuff i've been doing as an excuse not to face the assignment..

writing this post(obviously)
facebooking
checking the emails 9-10 times
read the forums on LSE
washing the dishes
house hunting
facebooking (again?)
stalking my partner's fb..
watching video clips
have i mentioned replying my emails??
watch movies
playing with things around me..

and the list goes on....

*loves the title of this post...kinda remind me of someone's name....

ethics class

2009-11-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

something very interesting happened today..in ethics class...we had a debate between ourselves on some topics..and during the second debate, we discussed about IVF from islamic point of view, which is totally out of the topic..our ethic's tutor (i forgot his name!!) was interested knowing that in islam, a couple must use their own sperms/eggs for IVF process. We are not allowed to use others/donor's sperms/eggs for fertilization.

Curiously, he asked us whether we(islam) can adopt children and we answered yes! And he asked us what's the difference between adopted child and the child produced from IVF using donors' sperm/egg?? and i answered that the child produced are outside of marriage ,which is prohibited...and then he asked again, "so, it is similar to adultery??as if the child was created from adultery??" and i, without thinking much, nodded my head..

He then said something about the history of adultery, which i can't remember and said that adultery was prohibited because it is like breaking a promise to your partner and bla bla bla (i didn't pay any attention during this part). he asked again, saying that people enjoy the thing when they commit adultery but IVF is not an 'enjoyable' process. in fact, it is a difficult process."

I was thinking about telling him that IVF using donor's sperms/eggs will going to make the 'keturunan' thing get more complicated (you know, marriage between siblings can occur ) but i don't know how to use the correct sentence to make him understand. So i hesitated. Then Iiman
explained to him about the 'keturunan' thing and the marriage between siblings, which made me rase lega cause somebody was there to explained it to him..

Being an ethics tutor had somehow developed his critical thinking, so he asked again, what if the NHS system can ensure you that the donor will not be someone related to you, and the marriage between siblings can be avoided??err.... *complete silence* Fandi tried to explain about the naming in islam (bin/binti), saying that there will be some confusion in it but somehow i think it is not enough to convince him...

i felt very frustrated (geram sangat2) to myself because i am unable to explain those stuff to the tutor, which may trigger him to think about the beauty of islam..nampak sangat x ckup ilmu even to explain simple thing like that..haih~i need to learn more....

oh, yeah..by the way, the debate topics were very interesting..it was different with our(malay) thinking..somehow it has trigger my mind to think from the point of view of other people(locals especially) and some issues here. these are the topics:

this house believes that Parliament should pass a law permitting the sale of non-regenerative organs
this house believes that couples should not get cheaper IVF treatment in return for egg donation
this house believes that the UK should adopt an opt-out system for cadaveric organ donation (trust me, opt-out system was very interesting!!!)
this house believes that embryos should not be created unless it is intended that they be implanted
this house believes that there should be no need for consent for the use of anonimysed human tissue for research once it has been legitimatey taken as a pathological specimen

you guys should take some times and think about these topics so that you can activate your critical thinking..(yeah, it is like the TOK thingie...)

Sedarllah diri Syamin!!!

2009-11-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

i always look down on students(those who studies overseas) who miss home(malaysia) so much!! I never understand why they are homesick, missing malaysia delicacies, and other stuff. And i was thinking, 'Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, cm lebih baik di negara orang je..' or as the saying goes, 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. I mean, except from the absence of family, it is way nicer and happier to live here compared to Malaysia.

I visited at a friend's hostel in castle leazes just now. It was then it dawned upon me that I am wrong. Very wrong indeed. I failed to look on the situation from different side of view. I failed to understand what they felt (empathy). I failed to consider their situation. I failed to fullfill these criteria, which is the criteria of a good doctor.

Just then, it struck me that I was bragging over the rezeki that I have. They don't have the large and comfy flat the way I have it. They don't have the opportunity to cook the way I do. They don't have the peacefullness the way I do. They don't have the comfortable zone, being surrounded with familiar faces the way I do. I realized that I am not being grateful towards the 'nikmat' that Allah SWT gave me. Instead, I was bragging over it by looking down on them. I was 'takabur with all the things or 'kemudahan' that i've got.

And I was grateful to Allah SWT for the opportunity for me to 'menyedarkan diri'. Syukur Alhamdulillah. And also to all the things that make my life much more easier. Thank you Allah..

2 x 5 ???

2009-11-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

I had a hospital visit in Sunderland Hospital yesterday and i got to interview one of the patients there..the patient suffered mild stroke couple of weeks ago but he seemed fine. Interviewing the patient was a bit difficult though. Living here for almost 2 months, I am so used to the friendly and talkative folks around here. The locals here seems to be the 'I-don't-mind-sharing-anything-with-you' type.

Thus, I was expecting the patient (to be professional, lets call him Mr. X) to have jolly expression and eager to talk to us. Mr. X is not the type of person that shares things with you. He answered all the questions that with a simple sentence and didn't elaborate more (even to an open questions!!). In malay we called it as 'tanye sepatah, jawab sepatah'. Hurm..maybe he was having difficulty with his speech, I mean, he had a stroke! well of course that had somehow affected him in terms of talking and limits his activity. But I can't hide my dissapointment knowing that the other students were excited and were having fun interviewing their patient. Haih~ What can I do, I just can't hear any whispering from the lady luck...

Back at home, I was thinking about the patient's atitude and behavior. On reflection (Bradley will love this!!) I realised that his behavior is just the same as mine. Being an introvert person, hesitate to share anything about yourself because you thought it won't make any difference telling others what you feel,etc is one of my major characteristic. And my heart was yelling at myself, 'Ko cakap orang tu x friendly, senyap, bla bla bla, tapi ko same je!!'

And I hate having to face those kind of people. And the quiet and awkward situation. Meaning..I hate myself more for being one of those people. It is difficult for other peole to understand you and talk to you. It is as if there is a huge barrier between you and other people. And in the end, it makes you a loner. You will feel lonely and nobody cared about you.

Although the interview didn't go much as i expected, I learnt something new. Something that has a huge impact on me. I need to change. No more senyap2, shy2, too secretive, too cautios of what others were thinking of me, and be brave to express yourself. And like what Azwan used to tell me, 'SMILE' always..because it's going to make your face expression less 'scary'...haha..InsyaAllah these changes will bring the positive side of me and brighten up my life (I wish!!)

forgetful

2009-11-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

been totally forgetful this week;

totally forgot about the existance of the exam card..i thought i've thrown it out. after doing a bit of 'selongkar' here and there during the weeknd, i still can't find it. in the end, i found it. it was safely and neatly kept in my purse
forgot to put my name for the english class homework
forgot where i put the padlock. kelam kabut cari padlock on monday for the anatomy class. found it inside my bag all along
forgot to save the assignment after editing it for 2 hours.haih~ have do start it all over again..stress!!
forgot to bring the super important file to anatomy class..and i have to run back to the flat to get it within 5 minutes(or less!!)..rase cm bodoh je lari pagi2 tue..

i know..human are forgeful...that's the nature of human created by God..however, as the saying goes.."Islam itu mudah"...Allah never wanted to burden us..that's why the doa qunut exist..He knows that we are not perfect..

Since we are very forgetful, we need constant reminders..reminders can be in any form, from anyone, as long as it is a good one, the one that can lead us closer to Allah..

"berpesan kepada kebaikan dan mencegah kemungkaran"

(i forgot the term in arabic:- i need a reminder on this as well)

demi masa. sungguh, manusia berada dalam kerugian.kecuali org2 yg beriman dan mengerjakan kebajikan serta saling menasihati dgn kebenaran dan saling menasihati dgn kesabaran. (surah Al-Ashr)

ps: sorry. i want to translate it into english but i am afraid my translation can go wrong. next time i'll find the english translation of the quran..

hesitation leads to changes??

2009-11-03T07:44:00.000-08:00

since the discovery of this blog by *Mr. WC, *Mr. ZJ and *Mr. FW and maybe few others who live nearby last week, i was kind off a bit hesitated to write more in this blog. i mean, they are going to read those craps and knowing that, i can't face them!! it's sort of humiliation!!(thank God Mr. DW didn't discover this blog yet; otherwise i have and need to change school!!). since i can't seem to get away from them, i was thinking about doing some 'penapisan' when i wrote something.

so don't be surprised if this blog is going to have general topic, unlike the previous post..i know it sounds boring but i'm going to crack my head up and magically turn those boring topic into a very interesting and hilarious discussion (coz i can't stand boring stuff either!!).

*bukan name sebenar

hurm...

2009-10-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

got an email from the group gp tutor..its a reminder actually..reminding those who will be having the gp visit in the future to arrive 15 minutes early..she said some of the students were late and it isn't really good..
i think she was referring to us. we were 15 minutes late for the gp visit yesterday and we got the email today...i admit it was our fault..we should have go earlier (though i blame the taxi driver for being late as well!!)

this incident had somehow ruined my image as a good student..and the professionalism as a future doctor as well..dah la aritu x gi seminar, which was compulsory..i'm pretty sure that there's some notes in my record in the medical school, regarding the seminar thingie and also being late for gp visit..haih~since darjah 1 smpai la kt IB xpenah ade record..i mean, i do 'fly' during high school and in kms, seludup buku out of library, and lots more (owh..forgive me for these sins)but somehow i manage to get away. record bersih kot spanjang 20taun idup..tanye je la sape2 about me..mesti dorg kate syamin budak baek(hehe..but dont ask my previous roomate and those i'm closed with) but here..things were different..it doesnt go my way..hurm...

i need to work on something to make things right again..but how???what can i do?? i guess nothing...i can't turn back the time to fix all the wrongdoings..but maybe i can reflect back and improve myself..yep..let's see whether i'm gonna be better or not..

Defining Moment...

2009-10-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

"any extra handout please!!!"

somebody at the back shouted. yeah..it was a lecture in RB Green Lecture Hall and surprisingly, the handouts werent enough for all the sudents including Khausar and I. most of the students were in their seatsalready. frustrated, those who didnt get the handout went to find their seats, including me. i sat next to qiehah, hoping that somehow handouts will appear magically out of nowhere. as if Allah granting my wish, a chinese girl headed to the front and put two extra handouts on the table. before somebody else took it, i quickly get up and grab the handouts. There were only two handouts, meant for me and khausar.

Out of sudden, before I could walk back to my seats, there was like a roar at the right side of the hall. it was from the two rows behind my seat.

"please, give the handouts to us"

"we need those handouts "

then i spotted Dan in the same row yelling, "Min...Min...", with the 'min give those handout to us, dont give it to others...' expression..yeah..it was kinda naughty expression..huhu

and i was like blinking for a second, a bit hesitated. eventually, i passed the handout to one of them. it was then i realized everybody was looking at me. i quickly sat at the seat, change my mind few seconds later and move up to sit beside khausar to share the handout.

again, before i could stand up, in the middle of the noises, i heard a girl say,

"oh..that's so sweet..."

and one of the girl behind me gave me back my handout. startled, i said it was ok..i can share with khausar. still the whole row of the girls insist me to take the it.

"take it. it's yours if u havent got one."

not wanting to make things more complicated, i took it and sat. the lectures starts few minutes later.

seriously, the incident affected me a lot..i couldn't concentrate on the lecturer throughout the whole 1 hour lecture...kept thinking about what had happened. these are few things that keeps my mind away from the lecturer..huhu..

those were Dan's friends...the huha2 type..the naughty kind of guys who loves party.. i was thinking what was their reaction...and i wonder whether Dan is going to tell them about me, his partner...
"oh..that's so sweet..." this affected me a lot...it seems like they were kinda impressed seeing someone gave their own handout to others...as if things like that had never ever happened before..
i felt a bit happy and relieved to have potrayed a good image of malaysian, NUMed student and the most importantly, as a muslim...it feels good to get a positive impressions form other people...coz i thought the full course student kinda have negative impression on the NUMed student...and i hate it!!

somehow my day has brighten up and that day is totally a defining moment for me..=)

night = sleep ??

2009-10-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

it's 4.45 pm here.

and it's already maghrib.

and it's dark outside.
as if it's 9pm in Malaysia.

and isyak will come soon.
at 6.39pm

sigh~

the nights are getting longer.
does that mean that i'm gonna sleep longer??

another sigh~

and tomorrow i have the family visit at 7.30pm
maybe i'll be home around 10pm
which gonna be very late and dark
and i have to pass across the leazes park, alone to get home
which is kinda spooky

more sigh~

should i bring torchlight or a weapon for self defense???

Durham......

2009-10-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

i went to Durham today..the place where Harry Potter scene was filmed..

and honestly..it didnt go as much as i expected...

and believe me..its not worth the money i've spent..11 pound melayang begitu sahaje...

so..the moral of the story: plan ahead before u go somewhere!!!

cheese and wine

2009-10-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

i didnt come to cheese and wine party /event last nite..cuz....

there'll be lots of wine served...
cheese isnt my fav food (not to mention some cheeze products here are not halal)
it's an englishman 'social event'...u know what i mean..combined with reason no. 1..there'll be lots and lots of mabuk people...

and so..i didnt go. i told my peer parent that i cant make it to the event coz i'm not feeling very well bcoz of the rain or something...(typical alasan but then thank God for the rain even though it juz a bit drizzle...).

and then he replied...

Hey Syamin,

Am sorry to hear you're not feeling well... don't worry about cheese and wine!

If you fancied getting together for a coffee or lunch or something sometime then let me know - it'd be great to meet you!

Tom

and I was like.."ooowwhhhh...sweetnyer..."

he juz want to meet up and help me with anything he could..

and i lied to him...felt guilty for lying...

things

2009-10-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

some of the things that happened to me recently:

1. i didnt notice that i have a deep,long scratch on my right hands..yeap..its bleeding but like i said..i didnt notice it..maybe because of the cold weather that makes my pain nerve mulfunction..l
ike last night..i accidentally cut myself while doing the dishes..it was quite deep and blood was pouring continously..yet i didnt feel anything..weird huh?

2. the wind was blowing strongly today...kalah angin kt beach..and at one time..while i was walking to the laundry..there's wind blowing against me..and i was like cant move forward even though i was trying so hard to move my right leg a step ahead..as if the wind put me on stop or something..funy isnt it??

3. the other students(other than malaysian obviously) seems to refuse to take a seat next to us(khausar and i) in the lecture hall..we've been experimenting a few times so that we can have other people to mix with..but then like yesterday it ends upwith only khausar and me on that row..hurmm...maybe we need to change our strategy...any ideas??

4. cant help it but im always very2 sleepy at 9pm...i dont know why...thats the reason i went to bed so early..kinda weird bcoz back in Malaysia, im always person whos gonna switch off the light at night..is it jetlag??i dont know.........

duh~

2009-09-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

pain in the chest..and i dunt know why~

cerita AKU dan KASUT di pai RAYA

2009-09-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

6.30 20.09.2009
enfon bunyik lagu 'error'..sape lak kol tga2 mlm ni..bru je nk tdo..

min: ello..
akak: min!!!!!!awk buat ape??
min: huh??tdo~
akak: bgun la..da smayg blom??
min: lmbat lg la..skang bru 5.30 kot..(berdasarkn pengalaman alarm kol 6.20 x bunyik lg..)
akak: hah??bukan ke sane da 6.30 ke??
min: blom la..da la..jgn kol la..mahal kot..(alasan..padahal mls nk ckp..nk smbung tdo)
akak: ala..ske ati la..akak nyer kedit..
min: mahal2..ok tata..bye~

ish..kacau je..bru nk tdo..kol bape da nie??(smbil tgok jam kt enpon)
shoot!!!6.40!!nape alarm x bunyi!!

7.15
siot tol phone nih..,kn da lmbat 5 min..sian lak kak zahara kene tgu nnt..
kuar uma nk kai kasut...??????damn!!nape kasut ade sbelah je??
kasut khausar pn sbelah je..qieha ngan pika da tgu da kt luar..
pika: kasut korg ni act ade kt dlm mailbox..satu kt mailbox korg..satu lg kt mailbox kitorg..ni pn kitorg yg kuarkn..n then smalm korg dgr x ade org ketuk pintu byk2 kali..dlm kol 2 am lbey..
min: xtau pn..(muke blur dan risau pikir psal kasut..)
min: boley x korg tolong tgokkan kasut ktorg kt bawah..maybe ade org amek n cmpak2 kn kt luar..thanx!!

7.25
pika: ktorg jmpe kasut khausar je..ni pn kt luar block..
min:......................
sedeynye..kasut tu bru beli smalam kt primark..even though mura je(1 pound only..) but still kasut tu bez sbb x sakit kaki..
and so i'm left with 2 shoes..:
1. sport shoes yg klu pakai mmg sakit kaki..
2. boots

ok2..min..calm down..think fast!!which shoes u'll wear??
ok..sport shoes tuh mmg sakit kaki..my ankle rase cm nk cabut klu wear that shoes..
that boots lak have 2.5 inch heels..anyone's feet is gonna hurt wearing that thing!!

okayh..since both is gonna hurt my feet..i chose the boots coz its more suitable with bju kurung..

maka..dgn bersusah payah jalan la about 2km to the masjid tauhid to perform eid prayer..since i was walking like itik..i was the last person to enter the entrance..
masuk2 je..masjid full..mmg da xley nk squeeze in da..so i just stand at the place where people letak2 kasut kt lantai..suddenly a lay standing beside me angkat takbir..nk smayg raye..i was like huh??xkan kot..cmne nk sujud??bwh ni sume kasut2..

after a while i was like spontaneously put my bag on the sea of shoes in front of me and prepared to pray..dlm hati ckp..ah..bantai je la..mcm ade karma lak ngan shoes today..

6.30 pm

letih giler raya kt 6 houses..and every houses makan heavy.normallykt msia raya mkn kueh raya je..kt sini bantai nasik minyak, lemang, lontong, rendang, soto, nasik briyani..toffee cake, choc cake..all the food was superb!!!

the thing that makes me super tired that we walked to each houses and im wearing that damn boots..my feet hurts like hell!!and it takes like double the energy to walk fast with that boots so that i can catch up with everybody else(yeah..people here walk super fast!!)

and walking back to our acomodation in ricky road with the chilly wind takes like forever...
bile da smpai kt entrance flat 11 i was looking here n there hoping to find my shoes..tibe2

qieha: min!!tu..nmpak x??
min: ape???mane??
that's when i saw the other shoes..flat at the 1st floor, the window was open..and top of that was my shoes..as if it was on display or sth..dengan muke tebal 10 inch i took the shoes..there was like at least 6 people in there..all males looking at me with great interest..then they burst out laughing out loud..i can hear one of them said 'oh..that's the one!!'

hati mmg siyes geram but then xley nk wat ape..mmg cmni kot prangai dorg..pranks here and there..since that day mmg kasut kitorg da x tiggal kt luar da..sume bwak msuk dlm..serik da..tp ni mmg experience in people's country..alhamdulillah kasut tue mmg jumpe balik even though not in the way i expected..rezeki comes in various way rite??and thats my rezeki on 1st syawal...

tips and taps...haha

2009-09-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

to all friends yg nk fly soon..ade sikit advice nk kasi:

1. jangan x tdo b4 fly..sbb lam flight nnt susah nk tdo..klu dpt tdo pn..skejap je da terjaga..u thought u da tdo sgt lame tau..but then bile tgok jam..la...xsmpai sejam pn tdo..very frustrating bcoz rase cm sgt penat duk lam aeroplane tuh..even video or songs yg ade x brape membantu..hehe..

2. luggage boley bwk up to 25 kg..mine was 25.5kg..tp mas baek..die lepas je..huhu..but then korg kene check transit flight korg gak..cm ktorg from amsterdam to nwcastle nek klm..and klm boley bwak up to 30 kg..and alhamdulillah imegresen x kene pape pn..lepas cm2 je..huhu

3. practice tido ikut timing kt country yg korg bakal fly..klu x nnt time org tido time org jaga..and jaga time org tido..hehe..

ni je kot yg sempat type...pasni nk kuar settle few things..will be continue IA...

counting hours

2009-09-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

approx 24 hours lg b4 departure..

and I'm bored..
xtau nk watpe..
atas suggestion izzat..saya xmo tdo..
tp..nk watpe ye??

1. tv..bru peas tgok tv td..lgpn xde citer best pn...
2. pack..saye da lame pack..huhu..ni sume gara2 bosan tahap dewa...check in luggage 24kg..hand luggage 11 kg..ape pndapat anda??
3. online..ye saye tga online skang..klu x..xde la post ni..huhu..
4. tdo..pasni tdo lg..xbesh la..
5. bce buku..da xde buku bez da..sume buku utk tdo je..haha
6. contact sdare mare...phone no dorg sume lam phone ibu..ibu da tdo..dorg pn msti da tdo..esok je la..
7. maen kucing..dorg pn msti bz hunting..xpon tdo gak..haha

kesinmpulannya..saya xtau nk wat ape da slaen online dan wat quiz ntah pape kt fesbuk tuh...hu~

14.09.09

2009-09-12T05:55:00.000-07:00

14.09.09...

even though x cntik cm 09.09.09, aku xkesah...aku lg suke sbb ade no. 14..hehe~

cm x caye je luse da nk berterbangan...tulat da xde kt msia da...

selamat tinggal semua...
parents, abang, kakak, ijat, jiji, bob, vee, maksu, paksu, shira, danish, pak long n family, wan, cikgu2, kawan2, dan saudare mare...
saya mintak maaf dri hujung rmbut smpai ke hujung kaki..
saya jugak nk wish

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN..

mohon maaf sekiranya ade sebarang khilaf sepanjang perkenalan kita..

wish awal2 kot xsempat...heh~

don't mess with my mum, things can get ugly..

2009-09-10T22:43:00.000-07:00

lame gler xpost..ni gara2 kemalasan tahap dewa..mls nk type, mls nk bukak blog..end up lupe password..hehehe
btw few weeks ago, time wat med checkup..after 3 weeks(thanx a lot to govt hospital) boley la gi amek result darah n sume2...but then..my blood test result gone missing!!!
ade beberapa kemungkinan:

1. med assistant tu curik darah aku..die nk wat test gak tp takot darah die kotor(with hiv or hep B..i dont know..)
2. sebab byk sgt tabung uji yg berisi darah(ade 5) one of them terpecah..and the person responsible for it takut kene marah ngan so die wat bodo je..
3. darah da smpai lab..but then the lab assistant mistaken it as syrup cordial(xlogic lgsung) and dia wat la air sirap...
4. nurse yg jage counter tu dengki ngan aku(x tau ar nape) result tu ader tp die ckp xde..sadis tol..

haha..end upjumpe la nurse kt counter 5 to solve this prob..guess what?? dgan muke masam and lgsung xpndg ktorg die ckp buat another test..3 weeks lg siap la..

hey..next 2 weeks dank fly..nk anta med check up kt mara lg..wat the heck??

and bermula lah 'perang' between my mum and that particular nurse..owh..that war did not end at the hospital..but smbung lg kt uma via phone..owh..owh.. seriously things were super ugly back then..end up my mum won(hey,,ibu mane ley kalah..)
the nurse apologised and told that i am schedule to do the test tomorrow and we can get the result done on that particular day..(wow..super cepat!!!)

the moral of the story is...never ever mess with my mum!!!

kitties

2009-07-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

jiji ade 4 anak..

ni Cheng Cheng..he's chinese..

ni lak Vee..shortform for Vaidehi (is this the correct spelling??)haha..

*not in the pic :- Bob and Bella@Nala

even though jiji's kitties are from different races (yep..we got chinese, indian, malay and minah salleh), but all four ofthem are muslim..rite jiji??

lappy tappy

2009-07-13T18:16:00.000-07:00

huhu..aritu laptop rosak..2% rosak je actually..adapter die da sampai ajal..so pegilah kedai kt jj tuh..alang2 tuh reformat la laptop sbb it is full of viruses, worms, lizards, kitties, and many more..(cam zoo la plak).

bile da reformat tuh igtkan kene byar RM30 (mahal seh..)ttbe org tuh tnye
"1st time ke reformat??"
"a'ah"
"FOC je la cmtu"

oohhhooo....what a luck..bestnyer..jimat duet sket.just bayar for the adapter je la..huhu

now my laptop is as good as new..cam ade laptop baru lak..hepinyer..

stalker??

2009-07-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

haha...i find myself in trouble when my big sis read my blog (as i've said previously, this blog is not supposed to be read by others as it is only pieces of craps here and there). Luckily..i managed to close the tab before she could finish it.haha seb baek previous topic psal book review, so im not that embarassed..hihi..
therefore,,this blog is in danger as few person tried to track it(actually a person has already read this blog and leave few comments..i dunno who the person is but im 99% sure he is a kmb student..am i right??)

ps: to dearest sis..wait till ive gone overseas.when i wont be seeing you for a long long time then u can read this craps.

story books

2009-06-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

these long hols is making me sick...luckily big sis come to the rescue by bringing home about 10 novels, stepmania for me to play with and tons of mags(wohooo!!!). So i end up reading day and night and i am seeing letters everywhere(ok, maybe i'm exaggerating).ok so here is some of the novels i've read so far;

MERCY by Jodi Picoult
- this book is about euthanasia. i thought it was a great story since i read other Jodi's book MY SISTER'S KEEPER and it was fantastic!! Apparantly..i was wrong..it was so damn boring!!!(i dont know haw i managed to get to the last page)

A PLACE CALLED HERE by Cecilia Ahern
- reading this book makes me wonder "Am I reading a children's book?? I thought this is for adults..." seriously i wont recommend this books unless you think like a 10-year-old and you love reading alice in wonderland over and over again.

WHERE RAINBOWS END by Cecilia Ahern
- its a fantastic book!!the format differs from any other books as it was written in a dialog and letters and emails and instant msg kind of way..the story line is good too but maybe a little bit long for the writer to wrap up the story. it's like you already know the ending but huh..its a long way to go..

SIZE DOESN'T MATTER by Meg Cabot
-this is book no.3 of Heather Wells mystery...i like the story line but then again the main character(Heather) was thinking too much!! she had this monolog kind of thing and babbles all the time.

well..there are more books i'd like to comment but this post is getting longer and longer(and i hate long post!!!).so better publish this right now before its getting longer.........

NUMeds interview

2009-06-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

wow..it's been 2 weeks since the interview but i cant get the thing out of my heads. There were like mixed feelings regarding this interview; fun,regret, weird, anxious, the cant-wait-the-result feeling andi dont know..many more!!
well for one thing..the interview session was held in a small room(my toilet is bigger than that!!) and me and the interviewers were sitting like some friends lepaking at the mamaks having some nice little chat(lol..if only thats true). what's more, it was the longest interview that i had in my entire life!! it was like 40 minutes in there..
I cant remember what crap things i've said back then. But one thing that stayed in my head is:
me: well..I don't intend on being doctor forever..after i get my MBBS i'll serve as a doctor for maybe 7-10 years and then i'm planning to do research..be a researcher.(why did i ever said this!!should have keep my mouth shut for good!!)

interviewer: so you're planning to do research..it is such a waste after the long years of study, the hardships you've gone through to become a doctor.but then again..what will other people, the community, and MARA itself would feel if you left the profession?

me: (OMG...i am so DEAD!!)...............

Things i'm gonna miss most leaving KMS

2009-05-25T13:01:00.001-07:00

1. Jalan gi bistro..i'm gonna miss this fountain a lot..
xtau knape..tapi suke gler tgk bende ni..lol

2. study..haha..mcmla xstudy da pasni..
what i meant was learning in KMS...
eventhough the place is like...you know what it's like
but then..the teachers..friends..environment..is what i'm gonna miss most!!

3. of course my room!!!mane nak cari blik yg strategik cm E002??
(time ni buku bsepah ckit sbb exam)

this is my fav corner in the room..haha..ske gler..
(name fatin mencapub kt whiteboard)

4. Last but not least..jadi babysitter time cuti...
rindu nk jage bestfriend time cuti..dorg sgt adorable eventhough byk kerenah
ni cj ngan hyppo
(not in the pic: Mr. Luffy)

Night of Glitz and Glory

2009-05-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

haha..sempat wat invitation card between paper chem and biz..
thanx to those involved!!

Night of Glitz & Glory

IB exam

2009-05-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

haha..smangat gler wat math

eventhough exam nak abes..aku tls gak post ni sbb cm xde keje (keje byk je tp mls nak wat)..haha..seriously few days before exam tuh mls gler nak study...men game je..the same thing happen during the 3 weeks of examination..haha..bukan aku sorg je..dak2 len pn cm2 gak..1 bende yg aku slalu pikir tme tuh..even time tga jwb exam pn terpikir bnde tue gak..

kan bez kalau xyah amek exam...IBO juz amek result predicted je

1. sume student hepi - ye ar..knfm2 sume dpt tinggi..terlebih cnfm sume dapat above 35...dpt fly..yay!!!
2. cikgu2 pn hepi - sape x hepi result student tinggije..name kolej pn naek..pgarah pn suke...
3. pemeriksa paper exam pn bley rilek2..xyah pening2 bce handwriting ktorg yg buruk gler especially paper biz..
4. xyah bazir duet post exam paper kt jepun,geneva,us,mane ntah lagi...huhuhu

dengan cara ni je sume org hepi..it's a win-win situation..kan bez utk sume org

but it's too late..ktorg da pun abes exam..tp junior2 bley la doa jd cmtu...mane tau jd btol2..ade gempa bumi ke..and paper exam ilang..hahaha..

pet society

2009-01-30T04:34:00.000-08:00

currently i'm addicted to pet society since fatin introduce it to me the other day
cant stop playing it
you should try it too!!

chemistry

2009-01-10T08:18:00.001-08:00

I miss the tiger-looking teacher, who's always on time for her class carrying a mug filled with lots of markers. She's the one who give me 50 cents for answering a question.

Well today is the first day of mrs Halimatun entering our class. Basically she is totally different from ckgu Khomah. She teaches soft and slow. Ithink I might get bored before the class ends. Well, this is only what I have tought. Maybe it will turn out differently, who knows???just give it a try then

Anyway, I get my chemistry paper today. It was like hell. Silly mistakes here and there. Especially the calculations part. OMG!! What happened to me?? I used to be good in math. Maybe I need more exercise .

his existence..

2008-12-07T08:33:00.000-08:00

i've always wanted to have sumthing that can prove my existence later (which is 100 years later or so)..been thinking that i cna achieve that by blogging..but then..i've always lost ideas or dont know what to write in front of the pc..that's my biggest problem in blogging..but then..recently i lost my bestfriend-whom i always expressed my feelings, probs, and share almost anything with him..but now that he's gone..i'm kinda lost..feels like there's huge dark hole in my heart that can no one can ever filled..guess that by writing posts i can remember him in a sort of way..and share my thoughts with him..it's like he can read the post where ever he might be rite now..though i doubt he could read when he's alive...well..it means that now i can accept your death as i found a way to remember you always..

ps:i always love you